all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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