Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
