You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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