But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
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period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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