I need to stop coming to work sober
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
