im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize