member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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