sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize