I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
