i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
