I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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