I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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