jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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