Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
