I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
