I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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