You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
