Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
