Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
