Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
