Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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