If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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