I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
