Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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