I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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