just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
my poor anus
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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