My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you had me at cake vodka
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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