She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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