You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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