Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
