In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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