it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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