it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fuck me I smell like cheese
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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