You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
