Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
