$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
