Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
