He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
