Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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