I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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