Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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