is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
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This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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