is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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