You made me cry and you don't even care
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
