you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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