I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize