return my video game
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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