new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
