5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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