Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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