Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
