i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
