Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This is not my ceiling
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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