I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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