I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Come on in and take your pants off
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