I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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