her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
