thus making me awesome and them whores
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
