We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
