I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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