maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
