I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
